For my birthday this year, my husband bought me an aquarium, which we stocked with two Ryukin goldfish. I named them Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. In my youth, I’d had aquariums before, which I did not properly maintain and which, sadly, would evolve from pristine and sparkling habitats to rank pits of fish-death in a matter of months.

However, I am a grownup now — sort of — and since January, I have demonstrated my totally adult ability to maintain an aquarium, and even to help two once-tiny goldfish grow into hulking monster goldfish who seem happy enough, as goldfish go. Thus, I believe I can be trusted with this — a watery DREAM of beauty and fascination!

I refer to the Desktop Jellyfish Tank, currently a project being funded on Kickstarter. I have a thing about jellyfish. I always have. And so this is kind of a lifelong aspiration. Jellyfish! IN MY HOUSE! You guys, I can be trusted with this. I promise. I will love them and feed them and clean up after them. I promise not to poke them. Well, I promise not to poke them MUCH.

Please please please, can I? A $350 pledge gets me (or you) the whole starter kit plus LIVE JELLYFISH delivered via Fedex. I seek enabling, my friends.

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